Ellis Island del Norte, Ellis Corral al Sur, the Low Cost, No-Fence Solution to Illegal Immigration

Parts of this I’ve said before, only now I’m predicating my argument today on resolving what is clearly the moving reason why the Republicans want to throw in with the Democrats and legalize all the illegal workers in our country; Big Money donors and their desire for low cost labor.

What we know now that we didn’t know when Bush tried this in 2007 (and when he couldn’t get over the 60-vote hurdle a new bi-partisan coalition managed to do last week) is the fact that Big Business has now proven its eagerness to ally with Big Government if it will protect their bottom line. And they really don’t care what sort of government we have so long as they have their foot in the door of it. We weren’t that sure in 2007. Now we are.

(Some call this “crony capitalism”, but I call it fascism, after a series of earth-shattering, history-changing events by the same name in Germany in the early 1930s. It was in all the papers at the time.)

Small business and the working man has no such life-line as Big Business, so it’s on their behalf  I’m also speaking here.

The Republicans, never known for rigid backbones about things constitutional in the first place, especially if there’s a back door through which they can escape (and which the Democrats always seem to provide), still would like to give a good appearance of conservatism here. But on this immigration issue, as a first priority, they are bound and compelled to grant their deep pocket supporters this cheap labor supply. That is the bottom line.

But they still want to deny the Democrats a sweeping 40 million new-voters electoral advantage down the road they know will occur, about which, as I just said, their Big Money constituencies seems to be  indifferent.

So in making this deal, the GOP seems to be surrendering real federal power in the future, along with a more formal sayonara to the Constitution, small government, individual rights, etc, (the GOP brand). Instead they are taking the easy road to permanent job-security,  acquiescing to an invitation from the Democrats to become permanent junior partners in the new-and-improved Ruling Class. Call it a 60-40 power sharing agreement. (Just get it in writing, guys, a pre-nup, or it’ll be 90-1o so quickly it will make your heads swim. Just saying.)

With GOP deep pockets as agnostic about the “American exceprionalism” thing as Democrat deep pockets are atheistic, what else can they do?

Seriously, what else can the GOP do? They know the Democrats want the new voters from this legislation so badly they can taste it. They are looking at 40 million new voters over the next few years, while never really plugging up the breach in our borders. A sieve that keeps on giving. But the GOP is powerless to say no to those deep pockets, unless they want to back home and start rebuilding the Party brand with $50 contributions. And this they just cannot do.

Bottom line, the GOP wishes there were another way to give Big Business what it wants without giving the Democrats all those new voters.

I want to show them a way to do that.

Ellis Island del Norte and Ellis Corral al Sur

Now, the great unspoken truth about this “making all the illegals legal” is that probably no more than half will ever come out from the shadows and sign up to get their papers as legal something-or-anothers anyway. Who told Rubio otherwise?

There are several reasons for this. For one, a sizeable number are on the run anyway. When they get caught (again) their next stop is jail, not Juarez. But the vast majority, more than half, maybe, simply don’t believe Americano politicians. Will they keep their word?  After all, just ask the Indians. And they’d be right. Mark Twain once said that Congress is America’s only native-born criminal class. And what you should consider about what Twain said is that at the time, Republicans had owned both chambers of Congress and the White House for nearly 50 years. A lying class, not just a  lying party, it seems.

So, no matter how we cajole and offer out our hand, half of the illegals in the country will reject it, largely because they just don’t trust us. And what will happens to them? Well for one, we stop looking for them, because everyone from Shumer to Rubio to McCain will tell us the problem is fixed.

My solution.

Ellis Island del Norte


Tell everyone illegal in this country who wants to live here on a work permit (most don’t want citizenship anyway) that he must simply show up at certain place, prove his work history, get the high-tech equivalent of having his hand stamped, then return to Mexico, where he will then have that stamp counter-marked, then turn around and show up at a special port of entry, Ellis Island del Norte, papers in hand, where he will be processed, from fingerprints to tongue depressers, to new passbook, then in 48-72 hours, to a waiting bus which will carry him to a nearby city, where he can be met by family or employers, or even the local Democrat Party crime boss, and go back to work.

Total turnaround time, 10-14 days, in an out, squeaky clean, total cost to the new legal immigrant no more the $2000 Yankee dollars, or about a month’s pay, plus whatever fine Rubio says they’ll be made to pay in fines (which we’ll no doubt add to the national debt as an account receivable).

Ellis Corral al Sur


Nearby, (I recommend within eyesight, maybe a mile or so), the government should erect a second Ellis Island, only like a corral, this one heading south. And while at the del Norte portal you can actually see the lines move, the one south will looks like a refugee camp in Sudan. Tents mostly, with showers and toilet facilities that can only handle 5% of the population at any one time, and a constant shortage of lime. To speed the process, the agency charged with this deportation should go around the country and hire the best of the various states’ DMV personnel to handle the paperwork for the illegal being returned to Mexico.

Total out-processing time, 20-3o days, with a steady diet of baloney sammiches, gruel and warm tea, alongside a diet of Barry Manilow music to go with the soft hint of lime wafting off the dung heap that is always one day late of being cleaned.

The mainstream press, the outraged, squawking mainstream media, will make sure that every illegal still in hiding in Richmond, Montpelier, Long Island and St Paul will know his options have narrowed to only two and that the window is quickly closing on one…

..for.it should be pre-announced that Ellis Island del Norte will remain open only for a fixed time, say 2- 3 years. After which it will be closed and dismantled.

Ellis Corral al Sur, on the other hand, will be left open indefinitely until every remaining illegal in the United States has been gathered up and out-processed. This means of course, as we have actually seen already, many illegals will be fleeing south the same way they sneaked in, anything to avoid being decamped at al Sur for 2-3 weeks, when they could be in Tijuana or Matamoros in just a few hours. Works for me.

To be fair, those who are evicted thru Ellis Corral del Sur should not just be left stranded there. That is not the most hospitable part of Mexico. They should at least be provided passage to one of the Mexican provincial capitals….Monterrey, Chihuahua or Hermosilla…and reasonable bus fare from there, and a $10 Mexican PhoneCard.

But what about not needing a real fence?

I won’t belabor this point. With American business falling into line with the new work-permit programs, people who come looking for work without papers (WOPS?) will be fewer and fewer, and with the specter of that giant Corral sweat hole awaiting them, I believe you’ll be able to walk your dog along the border in just a few years.

And to help in this matter, what Congress can do is enable states to do the same job Arizona tried to do over Obama and Holder’s objection. It should share power with the states, which all will agree, will be easier once there is no ICE maze to go through, and a bus waiting to pick up every deportee and move him to Al Sur, rather than handing them over to an (incompetent) federal bureaucracy. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Gathering, collecting and shipping should be an easy task, from any location in the states; catch them in Detroit on Sunday, have them delivered to Ellis Corral al Sur by Tuesday. No hassle, and no great taxpayer costs.

Moreover, Congress should remove from the President any authority over immigration and reserve all the power for itself. This is key. It should also deny ICE, Homeland Security, or any other agency, from interfering with the capture, detainment and return of illegals with specific legal authority, or to be able to overrule, override or circumvent the law as Congress wrote it. Add criminal penalties.

I have no problem with a pathway to citizenship, and the process should be made simple for a person here on a work permit to move over to green card status, at which time he can then invite immediate family to live with him. Green card status implies people who wish to become American citizens, and special education and training to be be American (ser Americano) will then be required. Not ser Democratia, ser communista, but only Americano. This is special. Then they can vote.

I do not favor allowing family to accompany people on work visas for the simple reason that continual work, anywhere in the United States, is no longer guaranteed natural born American citizens, especially now that immigrant-workers will have the Obamacare-dividend over native-borns, so why should we provide an added weight to social service should a foreign national on a work permit lose his job?

New legislation should also clarify the “natural born” clause of the 14th Amendment, not to include children born to people living in the United States unlawfully, or on work or student permits, just as it is for citizens of other countries who are guests here because of duties in foreign embassies and consulates.

Congress should also establish that guest-workers will not be eligible for federal benefits, if states wish to provide schooling and other social services for these immigrants, that no federal funds shall be used to reimburse states these costs. Immigrants on work permits should receive only the benefits their taxes pay for; local, state and federal. This will not apply to green-card holders and their families.

Building Ellis Islands North and South should cost only a fraction of that of building a fence. And we should build one in California, Arizona, New Mexico and maybe two in Texas. Maybe even Florida. I even think one in Boston and another in New York, to cover the Irish, Russian, Albanian and East European illegal traffic would serve as nice deterrents to the filth you’ll find in their dens.

There you have it.

Now, the plan I have just suggested gives the Republican Party the ability to deliver to its Big Daddy Warbucks what they want most, while denying the Democrats what they (secretly) want most as well. It also allows the GOP to live to fight another day as free men instead of living eternally as the ring wraiths to dark lords.

And if they’d just turn to us and ask for our help, instead of giving up 60% of their electoral support to achieve something they can have and keep anyway, why, we’ll have John McCain and Lindsay Graham locked away in a Tijuana jail, dressed up like Shirley Temple and  Little Orphan Annie in no time.

Think it over guys. Come out with a good plan, lay it out in front of the people, and you may just win this one straight up without having to lie.


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