We Can Do a Year Standing On Our Heads, Mr Boehner

Can you hear us now?

Three or four times in my life I confronted situations where I knew I might end up in trouble. Each time, my first thought was “felony or misdemeanor?” and my next thought was “Hell, I can do a year standing on my head.”

What does this have to do with the face-off between the GOP House and Obama? (Yes, it’s between them and really, and only them.)

In any face-off, say a push-and-shove between kids daring each other to spit, or a barroom chest-bumper, all the way up to a real gunfight, OK Corral style…

…you want to know what   advantages you have, and what advantages the other fella has.

You want to know your chances.

Let’s consider this face-off between Obama and the House Republicans.

The House GOP, er, Mr Boehner, has the backing of 70% of the American people. A mighty fine hand. A full house.

That’s right, 70% have signed on to end this fiscal madness right here and now. No more kicking the can. No more kabuki dance. No more funny word games intentionally confusing trillions with billions and out years, or revenues, or tax hikes. In fact those days of parsing political language are nearly over. The people are no longer just standing by, watching. They have score cards, and rule books, and their own instant replay. And they don’t need CNN, NBC, or even Fox to umpire.

But I’ll get to Door #3 later.

As for Obama’s hand, as Al Capone told Eliot Ness, “You got nuttin’.”

Obama’s got nothing.

Fiscally America is in a shambles, nearing a meltdown. And it doesn’t matter if the Dem’s believe this or not, Mr Boehner. Don’t waste your time trying to convince them. There’s 70% behind you who already know it it to be true.

And America has become the laughing stock of the world in foreign affairs, generally displaying a weakness the rest of the world is now beginning to see as a personal attribute of its architect.

And only this week Obama returned space to the Russians (and Buck Rogers), who, back when we were still No 1, were still building rocket ships with slide rules.

Obama’s pilot light is nearly out.

While Boehner’s holding a full house, Aces over Kings, Obama’s carrying a perfect Oklahoma, 2-5-8-9-Jack…in four suites.

So the GOP House, with 70% of the people behind it, has the ability to say whatever it wants. It doesn’t have to come into debt negotiations and say “No” to anything.  The House has the biggest “Yes” vote in modern history.

But first the House must make Obama say “No”, for you see, we (you) can afford for Obama to say “No” and then watch him wilt under the pressure of his miscalculations.

This could may take as much as year, though I doubt it. But we”ll gladly stand on  waiting for the hand to play out.

Obama’s only face card is his claim to have the power to select which programs will be cut and which will be allowed to survive once the budget ceiling is reached.

He’ s used this threat before, and while I believe it’s a bluff, even if not, Boehner needs to know his cards (that 70%) are stronger than anything  the media can try to slip Obama under the table.

We expect Obama to be both spiteful and vengeful. He has hinted he will cut big RNC corporate donor “loopholes” while saving pet Dem programs. Let him. We’re for getting rid of all “special” tax cuts (or hikes) for all classes of taxpayers anyway, from the marriage penalty to ethanol. But depreciating and expensing a corporate jet used in business is a no more a “loophole” than me expensing my car in my business.

Obama will cut to punish, which is what we’ve come to expect from almost two generations now who have never had their mouths washed out with soap by mom or laid across dad’s lap for three or four good spankings. The teat fit generation, my grandfather once said, “was three-four whompings away from good citizenship.” (That’s usually all it takes.) 

So, spiteful behavior is not uncommon for Democrats, who routinely lay off police and fire protection while keeping useless front office bureaucrats pitter-pattering the office, just to punish taxpayers who want to reduce the pitter-patter of little bastard bureaucrat paws down at the various agencies in the first place.  We know to expect this.

But as I said, Mr Boehner, the 70% behind you are willing to do a year standing on their heads, if need be, to stare this brood down and wait them out.

The Dem’s will wilt. They have to. We won’t because we don’t have to. They will screech, hold their breath til they turn blue, and a few will even take to the streets.  The stuff of tantrums. But they will wilt.

In Light of all this, Sir, My question is:

Why are you privately sounding so tentative? Or so I hear.

I agree with Rush Limbaugh; with you holding a full house and Obama holding a perfect Oklahoma, where’s the downside here?

But according to recent reports there does seems to be a hidden downside in your world, only we know it’s not coming from those Aces over Kings in your hand. While you’re talking the talk and walking the walk of no giveaways, some are saying you’re getting a lot of pressure from your backside to cut some kind of deal, then camouflage it with fine landscaping.

A lot of us out here would like to know just who that Joker in the deck is that is bringing so much heat to bear on you? The RNC? Rich donors?

We understand that President Obama can do some temporary harm to the those donors if he “goes punitive” as some suggest. But if we can do a year standing on our head, I’m sure they can get with the spirit of our sacrifice, and just take leave in the Hamptons for awhile.

We also know there is the “teat-fit wing of the Republican Party”, not unlike the Democrats. Some call them RINO’s, but I personally know it extends well beyond that. Many say they hold council at First Street (RNC headquarters). And yes, we know they are much like the Liberals we fight in temperament and world view. ”

Door #3

This 70% of the people who are willing to stand on their heads for you, Mr Boehner, can also destroy the RNC in short order, thereby leaving those big RNC donor no place to go but to the only other protection racket around; the DNC. Consider that.

Now if you think this is a bite-your-nose-off-to-spite-your-face moment, no, it isn’t. Nor is it hyperbole. This is a real Situation Analysis at a critical time when you must decide how to play this fine hand.

Law: Never forget the one who brung you to the dance, for sometimes people can hate a coward worse than they do any other kind of son of a bitch alive. Even a Leftie.

You’ve never played the game until you’ve played for more than you can afford to lose (Steve McQueen).

Not only will there be a third party (which I have preached and railed against for the longest time) but it will strip away enough R’s in the House, (who will refuse to caucus with R’s) to return the sainted Lady Nan to the speakership.  And you will have to start carrying your own clubs at Congressional.

The RNC will evaporate into a provincial fraternity. Have Tux Will Travel will go with the way of black and white television.

And while the Teat Fit Wing of the Republican Party will finally melt into the Democrats they always sort of were on social grounds anyway…

…our 70% will not.

RINOs didn’t have to be, but they are becoming our chief impediment getting to the throat’s of the Enemy, in part because they share so many things in common, especially being a part of a ruling class.

We would like to have hand-shaked them over to our side. God knows we’ve tried, but their hearts and sensibilities have been as barren as a Democrat’s one good testicle when it comes to entertaining the slightest consideration of the founding principles of this Nation.

As much as it pains me, as it will add another thirty years to finally killing off the seeds of statism in the Left, we’ll just have to get rid of the RINOs first.

You should already already know this, Mr Boehner, for that 70% set the table you’re all dining at now.

Wachen und beten!

Play it well, Sir, and our 70% will keep your back, even as we stand on our head. Play it poorly, and you will feel the ground under you feet turn into sand.

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